


Different Definitions

by There_lies_my_sanity



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 08:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/There_lies_my_sanity/pseuds/There_lies_my_sanity
Summary: Yuuri falls asleep on Victor's lap. Victor doesn't mind.If only Yuuri felt the same way about Victor as Victor did about him...





	Different Definitions

**Author's Note:**

> A friend of mine recently introduced me to Yuri on Ice and I may or may not have cried because it is so beautiful. I just _had_ to write a thing, and I figured I'd share it with whoever else fell in love with these two amazing men and their epic ice skating love story! Please forgive the crappy writing, I wrote this so late at night that it was probably morning.

Yuuri was asleep.

It took longer than usual for Victor to realize it. He was oddly in tune with Yuuri, he’d noticed, and usually could tell when the other fell asleep as easy as he could tell if Yuuri had been crying or laughing or bored. It was just one of those things he never really questioned, like why squirrels had such terrifying beady eyes and why every time Yurri laughed, the butterflies in Victor’s stomach staged a revolution. 

This time, though, Victor estimated he’d spent a good ten minutes intently focused on the old movie he’d picked out before he’d registered that Yuuri’s breathing had gone all even and deep the way it did when he was sleeping. Victor took care not to react, or course; Yuuri had had a strenuous couple of days. He needed the sleep. So he kept himself statue still except for the hand continuously brushing through Yuuri’s messy hair and the smile forming on Victor’s face. The former was surely what had caused Yuuri’s descent into dreams in the first place, after all, and the latter couldn’t really be helped.

Yuuri, too, seemed to be smiling, though Victor’s view admittedly wasn't the best. Yuuri’s head was on Victor’s lap and they were both facing the television, so to get a good look at his expression would require Victor to lean forward and curl himself around the man on his lap, risking waking him up. As much as Victor loved seeing Yuuri’s smile, it wasn’t worth the chance. 

The credits were playing by the time Yuuri woke up from his nap. He yawned loudly, then stretched himself out along the couch like a content cat. For a guy who adored dogs as much as Yuuri did, he was very cat-like. He was antisocial and not overly affectionate and liked having his hair pet, not to mention his general body language--smooth, elegant, balanced, graceful, beautiful, gorgeous, hot….ahem.

Yuuri curled back into Victor’s lap, blinking the sleep out of his deep brown eyes. Victor forced himself to act cool and stop grinning like the besotted fool he was.

“Sleep well?” Victor asked softly, replacing his fingers where they’d been dislodged by Yuuri’s movements and resuming running them through the younger’s hair.

“Mmm,” Yuuri hummed, still out of it, all soft and happy and warm.

Victor chuckled. Unfortunately, that seemed to break Yuuri out of his post-slumber stupor. Yuuri blinked harder and halfway sat up, kept in place by Victor’s hand sliding from his head to his waist. 

Yuuri blushed. “Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

Victor frowned. He was making progress, but it wasn’t enough. Not yet. They’d gotten to the point where Yuuri no longer stiffened when Victor looped his arm around his shoulder, when Victor hugged him to his chest, when Victor sat in his lap for no reason except that it was a convenient place to sit. He seemed to believe Victor’s praise was genuine and didn’t apologize whenever he needed a little extra reassurance from his coach and friend. He’d even started initiating contact occasionally, not much, a casual hand here, a brush of hip to hip there, but it was light years away from where they’d started. Still, there was more progress to make. Victor couldn’t wait.

Unfortunately, Yuuri seemed to misinterpret the frown, as he sat up completely and looked away, blushing harder. Victor took a moment to mourn the lack of warmth, then decided that he was too exhausted to deal with this right now. Yuuri wasn't the only one who needed rest.

Victor pulled Yuuri right back against his chest, shifting himself closer until Yuuri was halfway on his lap, their eyes inches apart. “I don’t mind,” he said, and it applied to a lot more than his friend taking a nap on him.

Not that Yuuri knew that.

Sometimes, Victor thought that he must know what Victor wanted from their relationship, what Victor felt for him. He wasn’t exactly subtle, after all. Some of it could be excused as Victor being a generally tactile person, but with Yuuri he took it to the extreme. Surely Yuuri had to notice. Surely Yuuri had to see the longing glances, the lingering touches, the constant flirting, the desperate want Victor unintentionally projected whenever they came within ten feet of each other. Surely.

But he didn’t. Victor had considered the idea that Yuuri was just a very good actor, was trying to let him down gently, but the longer he knew him the more Victor was convinced that he was _actually that oblivious,_ as unlikely as it seemed. Yuuri’s anxiety and lack of self esteem had apparently made him unable to see Victor’s very obvious feelings.

On the one hand, Victor was kind of happy about that. If Yuuri didn’t feel the same way, if he rejected Victor’s feelings, Victor wasn’t sure that he could bear losing him. Oh, if Yuuri just wanted to be friends, Victor could be content with that. He would happily go the rest of his life in a state of constant pain and longing if it meant he could have Yuuri in any way, shape, or form. He’d be okay. Well, not okay, but content. He’d deal. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to risk blatenty admitting his huge crush, not if losing Yuuri completely was a possible outcome.

On the other hand, Victor wanted to scream his unending devotion to Yuuri Katsuki from every rooftop in the world and damn the consequences, if only so he could stop keeping secrets from him. Not that it was really a secret, not to literally everyone but the man in question. Besides, Victor was a generally positive person. He had hope. Perhaps part of Yuuri’s blushing stuttering adorableness was because he had a crush on Victor, too. Then they could kiss and hug and hold hands and ride off into the sunset to live out their happily ever after, because if true love existed, then that’s what Victor and Yuuri would have, and true love always gets a happy ending. A poodle including, gold medal filled happy ending. Victor liked the sound of that.

And Victor liked the sound of Yuuri’s suprised little yelp as he was jolted back onto Victor’s lap. He liked the weight of Yurri safe and secure in his arms, the pink blush across Yuuri’s cheeks, the way Yuuri’s hands found themselves clutching Victor’s shirt. He especially liked Yuuri unconsciously adjusting himself to be comfortable in the new position. He no longer shied away from Victor, and Victor couldn’t help but feel rather smug about it. 

“You don’t?” Yuuri asked, and it took a moment for Victor to remember why. Ah, yes, they’d been having a conversation of sorts, right? Yuuri was doubting Victor’s willingness to be a pillow. If anything, Victor was far too willing.

“Of course not, Yuuri,” Victor answered, savoring Yuuri’s name on his tongue.

Yuuri blushed harder but seemed to accept the reassurance. He relaxed, yawning again and leaning a bit forward as he tried not to fall prey to his exhaustion.

Victor chuckled again and leaned forward himself, resting his forehead against Yuuri’s. “Still tired?”

Yuuri looked absolutely amazing with his hair sleep-mussed and his eyes barely an inch away. “A little,” he admitted. 

Victor just hummed softly in response, too caught up staring into Yuuri’s eyes to properly hold up his end of the conversation. Just as they sparkled when he was thinking, searching, they had such depth when Yuuri was tired that Victor thought he might drown.

They’d shifted again, at some point, and Yuuri was one hundred percent on Victor’s lap now. Victor didn’t mind one bit. His arms fit like missing puzzle pieces around Yuuri’s waist, and Victor was sure that if they were just a bit closer, Yuuri would fit quite nicely against his chest, too.

Sure enough, when Yuuri broke eye contact and melted against Victor (who had to struggle not to yell something stupid in triumph, probably _“Yes”_ or _“finally”_ or _“Oh dear Lord it’s a miracle thank you God Jesus whoever’s looking out for me from above for causing Yuuri to initiate cuddling”_ ) he could almost hear the _click_ as everything settled into place, Yuuri’s head resting on Victor’s shoulder, Yuuri’s body curled in the curve of Victor’s lithe form, Yuuri’s warm breath on the side of Victor’s neck making him simultaneously excited and as tranquil as he’d ever been.

They sat like that for a little, the forgotten television playing epic credit scene music in the background. Victor never wanted to leave. But it was late, and they couldn’t stay here forever, as much as Victor wished they could.

In a minute, Yuuri would sit up and smile at him and climb off his lap. Victor would smile back, then Yuuri would leave to get ready for bed. After Yuuri was done in the bathroom, Victor would take his turn, and he’d go to sleep in his too-big, too-cold bed all alone, wishing for something that wasn’t his to have.

No. Not tonight. Victor just...he just couldn't take it tonight. He was too tired, too lonely, and he might never have Yuuri in the way he wanted but he could at least have this.

Yuuri squeaked as Victor tilted them sideways, stretching them out on the couch. Victor grabbed the blanket long abandoned on the floor and drug it over them, tucking it it around Yuuri securely. He shuffled his legs for a moment, tightened his arms around him, and sighed softly, burying his nose in Yuuri’s hair.

“Victor?” Yuuri asked, voice muffled in his neck.

“I’m too tired to stay awake and too lazy to move and too comfortable to let you go,” Victor groaned dramatically.

Yuuri snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” Victor agreed, pulling away enough that he could see Yuuri’s face. “But you love me anyway.”

And then silence, thick and surprised as they both processed Victor’s words. Victor tried not to hold his breath.

“Yeah,” Yuuri said eventually, soft and hesitant but sure, and Victor had never heard a more beautiful word. “Yeah, I do. I love you.”

“Yeah?” Victor asked, breathless and hoping, gut curling in anticipation.

Yuuri smiled sweetly. “You’re my best friend, Victor.”

Victor grinned. “You’re my best friend too.”

“So you love me?” Yuuri asked teasingly, but Victor could read him like a book. The question was as serious as Yuuri had ever been.

“Of course,” Victor answered honestly, indisputably.

Yuuri was grinning now, too. He burrowed back into Victor’s chest, tucking himself into his arms. Victor readjusted the blanket and pulled Yuuri impossibly closer.

It felt good, hearing the words out loud. _I love you_. But that word, that word that made the fire in Victor’s chest burn bright and hot and all consuming, it didn’t mean the same thing for Yuuri as it did for Victor, of that Victor was sure.

Don’t you hate it when words have more than one definition?

Victor waited until Yuuri’s breaths had evened out, the love of his life once again sleeping peacefully, to cry.


End file.
